Your Best Kazaa Memories (techno remix EXPLICIT).mp3

Back in the wild west days of file sharing, and for a moment all too brief, Kazaa reigned king. And thanks to a recently reinvigorated Twitter account, we’re reminded of the complete and utter mess that was our Kazaa-fueled Winamp queue. So for the sake of nostalgia, we ask you: What are some of your best (which is to… »11/09/15 12:11pm11/09/15 12:11pm

Tony the Tiger Can't Tweet Without Furries Begging Him for Sex

While most public figures have a hard time tweeting without at least one teen asking them to please sit on my face, daddy, the official Twitter account for Tony the Tiger, it seems, is dealing with an special breed of proposition. Because almost any time Tony tweets, the fawning furries of Twitter lose their shit. »11/04/15 3:37pm11/04/15 3:37pm

The Internet's Obsessive Hunt for a Bootleg SpongeBob Movie That May Have Never Existed

A Day With SpongeBob SquarePants: The Movie, a straight-to-DVD unauthorized spoof of the Nickelodeon cartoon, appeared for sale on Amazon on November 22, 2011. Sometime shortly after that, stock of the film mysteriously vanished from the site and everywhere else on the internet. Have you ever seen A Day With SpongeBob… »11/04/15 12:34pm11/04/15 12:34pm

What This Artist Has Done With Landscape Photography Is Absolutely Testicles

For months, one diligent artist has toiled to make and curate a majestic collection of landscape photographs, unlike anything you’ve seen before. Were these merely pretty landscapes, Clancy Philbrick would be just another world traveler with an aspirational Instagram account, but they’re not: they’re Nutscapes. And… »10/21/15 6:00pm10/21/15 6:00pm

UPDATE: Facebook User, Asif, Regains Friendship With Scorned Ex-Best Friend, Mudasir

Exactly a month ago to the day, our fragile world was rocked when a Facebook user from the Gujranwala District in Pakistan announced that he was severing ties with his then-former best friend Mudasir in favor of new best friend Salman. Today, however, people from all corners of the globe can breathe easy—Asif and… »10/16/15 6:03pm10/16/15 6:03pm

Doomsday Group Posts FAQ to Explain Why the World Didn’t End on Time

There have been a lot of End-of-Days-to-be over the years. Y2K. Wayne Bent’s Day of Judgement. The Mayan Apocalypse. The Blood Moon Prophecy. All of which have come and gone without leaving Earth the smoldering pile of rubble we’re so often promised. But now, finally, eBible Fellowship is here to tell us why with a… »10/15/15 11:46am10/15/15 11:46am

Unlike Its Subjects, The Funeral Selfie Will Never Die

Every so often, when it’s late and I’m procrastinating and everything else on the internet is suffused with vitriol and poison, I’ll type “funeral selfie” into my Twitter search bar. Pages of smiling, duck-faced teens dressed in black and surrounded by either flowers or caskets or actual cadavers stare back at me. And… »10/07/15 10:53am10/07/15 10:53am

I Want to Stand With This Archive of 1990s Kmart Store Soundtracks on a Mountain; I Want to Bathe With This Archive of 1990s Kmart Store Soundtracks in the Sea

Want to relive the feeling of accompanying a shopping cart down a dingy fluorescent-lit aisle, trying to decide whether to drop your allowance money on the new 98 Degrees album or the Sun-In you need to get those frosted tips looking phat again? I have good news for you, my friend, my home dawg, my backstreet boy. I… »10/02/15 4:21pm10/02/15 4:21pm

Facebook User, Asif, Ends Friendship With Mudasir, Welcomes New "Best Friend," Salman

Earlier today, Daily Pakistan Global stumbled across a Facebook post unlike any we have seen before. It tells the story of Asif, who severed ties with his former best friend, Mudasir, for reasons yet unknown. Despite the tragic, word art-annotated tale of love lost, there remains a light at the end of the tunnel—his… »9/16/15 5:03pm9/16/15 5:03pm

Indulge Your Nostalgia With Five Perfect Labor Day YouTubes From the 80s and 90s

It’s Labor Day, meaning summer is symbolically if not officially drawing to a close, meaning whatever fun you’re having is probably tinged with a little wistfulness for days gone by, meaning you’re especially primed for nostalgic feelings this week, internet-induced or otherwise. With that in mind, here are some… »9/07/15 10:55am9/07/15 10:55am

Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorists Are in Love With Fall’s Hottest Benghazi Apparel

Over the course of the past few years, the Benghazi “scandal” has evolved from tragedy to right-wing conspiracy theory to internet sensation to even more insane right-wing conspiracy theory, and everywhere in between. But nowhere has the Benghazi phenomenon been quite so prolific (and profitable) as it has on one of… »9/03/15 11:12am9/03/15 11:12am