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I Love These Goddamn Stock Video Baboons and So Will You

A solid meme for a Friday afternoon: Stock footage of baboons doing human things, paired with silly one-liner captions. They talk on the phone, they throw their computers, they gaze dewy-eyed into the distance and softly smack their lips in resignation. I love these goddamn baboons, and I can’t wait to share them with… » 8/28/15 4:21pm Yesterday 4:21pm

4Chan Gets Highly Sensitive Spy Report, Dismisses It as "Fake and Gay"

Shockingly, 4chan—the cherished home of aspiring internet vigilantes and/or racist piles of garbage everywhere—isn’t quite as cunning as it might have you believe. When a whistleblower published a highly sensitive (and highly legitimate) report from an Australian spy agency to its profanity-laden forums, 4chan users… » 8/06/15 4:07pm 8/06/15 4:07pm

Reddit Finally Bans r/GasTheKikes, New Cesspool Immediately Replaces It

Reddit’s community dedicated to disseminating vicious invective about black people may be safe, but (at least one of) its jew-hating communities has finally gotten the boot. Yes, r/GasTheKikes is finally dead. And not an hour later, r/KikeTown popped right up to take its place. » 7/21/15 11:12am 7/21/15 11:12am

A Statement From the Gawker Media Editorial Staff

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Our union drive has expressed at every stage of the process that one of our core goals is to protect the editorial independence of Gawker Media sites from the influence of business-side concerns. Today’s unprecedented breach of the firewall, in which business executives deleted an editorial post over the objections of… » 7/17/15 7:56pm 7/17/15 7:56pm

Kirk Cameron Could Barely Hear Jesus as He Kept Fellating the Crocoduck

Kirk Cameron, God’s chosen actor, knows that the heavenly father is real because no one’s ever seen a half-crocodile, half-duck called a Crocoduck, though that is most likely because Kirk Cameron made it up. But what if the Crocoduck were real, and what if it put its foot-long Crockoduck penis in Kirk Cameron’s… » 7/15/15 6:15pm 7/15/15 6:15pm

How a Sesame Street Illustrator Became the Truther Scene's Golden Boy

Screaming children run from oversized vaccine death needles. Barack Obama shows off a handwritten birth certificate bearing the words “KENYA” and “FIRE ME.” Swastika-inscribed fluoride tanks empty themselves into lakes beneath a sky full of chemtrails. It’s every overblown conspiracy theorist’s nightmare, and there’s… » 7/15/15 11:43am 7/15/15 11:43am

Fired Reddit Administrator Victoria Taylor Finally Breaks Her Silence

After Reddit effectively consumed itself this weekend over the firing of beloved AMA coordinator Victoria Taylor, redditors have been clawing at themselves for a chance to hear Taylor’s side of things. And now, at long last, the ex-employee has made her first public statement since the real chaos began. … » 7/08/15 7:46pm 7/08/15 7:46pm

Internet Racists Are Obsessed With Nickelodeon's Show About "Cuckoldry"

You’ve probably never heard of Bella and the Bulldogs, a relatively new show on Nickelodeon about a perky cheerleader-turned-quarterback. It’s fairly popular among tweens and has just been renewed for a second season. It’s also popular among infuriated, far right-wing racists, who have become positively obsessed with… » 7/08/15 2:15pm 7/08/15 2:15pm

Reddit CEO Offers Users Shitty Apology: "I Don't Have All the Answers"

Over the weekend, Reddit’s users had themselves a fit, shutting down almost all of the major subreddits and likening the site’s interim CEO, Ellen Pao, to as many genocidal dictators as they could manage. Now, Pao has come to the message board on bended knee to offer up a mea culpa of her own. And it’s a bad one. » 7/06/15 4:20pm 7/06/15 4:20pm

Reddit In Chaos After Allegedly Firing AMA Coordinator Victoria Taylor

If you tried to visit r/IAmA (one of Reddit’s biggest subs) recently, you were probably greeted by the image above. And if you’ve been absolutely anywhere else on the site at all in the past few hours, you probably noticed that everyone is flipping their collective shit over speculation that Victoria Taylor, the… » 7/05/15 11:45pm 7/05/15 11:45pm

White Men Wave Their Butts in the Air for the Confederacy

Remember planking? Remember how tired and unfunny it got in such a short amount of time? Thanks to Vice co-founder and anthropomorphized subreddit Gavin McInnes, the terrible internet trend of our past is back. And this time, it’s here to speak out against the atrocious shaming and reverse racism currently oppressing… » 6/30/15 4:35pm 6/30/15 4:35pm

This Is What it Looks Like When a Computer "Hallucinates"

Artificial neural networks—systems of interconnected processors that attempt to mimic the structure of the human brain—are usually used for things like facial recognition. Feed a neural network enough photos of your own face, and soon enough, it will learn your dimples, your chin, the distance between your eyes—and be… » 6/25/15 12:10pm 6/25/15 12:10pm

The Beautiful Buffoonery of Craigslist Personal Ads

Let’s say you’re a straight woman who just moved to New York. You’d like to meet a guy, but your friend circle is too small for set you up; you hate the bar scene; and you can’t seem to get a match on Tinder. In your dark night of the soul, searching for any connection at all, you turn to the Craigslist personals.… » 6/22/15 3:30pm 6/22/15 3:30pm

"My Poor Toilet Bowl!!!!": Piping Hot Amazon Reviews of Laxative Tea

Everybody may poop, but there’s one, extra special corner of Amazon where everybody doesn’t just poop—they poop like goddamn clockwork. And they’re more than happy to share their shadooby-stained tales of nature’s call. A call they owe entirely to the laxative tea that they bought for their—uh, wives. Sure, yes. Their… » 6/21/15 11:56pm 6/21/15 11:56pm

QUIZ: Only Real '90s Kids Will Recognize These Classic Characters

The ‘90s, wow. Remember them? Simpler times, when kids had NSYNC and BSB instead of T-Swift and 1D, Yak Baks instead of Yik Yak, and good cartoons instead of bad ones. Cal Ripken, Moesha, Melissa Joan Hart. Chores. Allowance. Nickelodeon Magazine, Please! Remember? Do you? Well here’s a quiz that will definitely take… » 6/19/15 5:20pm 6/19/15 5:20pm