Screaming children run from oversized vaccine death needles. Barack Obama shows off a handwritten birth certificate bearing the words “KENYA” and “FIRE ME.” Swastika-inscribed fluoride tanks empty themselves into lakes beneath a sky full of chemtrails. It’s every overblown conspiracy theorist’s nightmare, and there’s not a drop of irony in sight.
Everybody may poop, but there’s one, extra special corner of Amazon where everybody doesn’t just poop—they poop like goddamn clockwork. And they’re more than happy to share their shadooby-stained tales of nature’s call. A call they owe entirely to the laxative tea that they bought for their—uh, wives. Sure, yes. Their wives.
Has this magnificently corny PSA graced your Facebook newsfeed lately? Inspirational rock music. Dejected kids pulling stickers from their shirts, revealing words like "revolutionary" and "healer" underneath. A title card: "Stop psychiatric labeling of kids." You've got the Church of Scientology to thank.
This summer, a very small council of people you've never heard of will make a very large pop-cultural impact when they release dozens of new emoji. But this crop of tiny phone art had to be narrowed down from a much larger bunch, which means we're likely missing out on what would've been some amazing specimens.
Across the vast and teeming wilds of the Instagram comment sections of popular celebrity accounts, certain questions echo: "Follow back?" "Like my pic?" "Can I eat your pussy?" For years, scholars and scientists of the celebrity Instagram have wondered: Are these requests ever fulfilled? Let's find out.
Game developer Brianna Wu has been stalked, tormented, and harassed by GamerGate—the amorphous reactionary movement centered around video game journalism—for months now. But it's never been as frightening as it was this weekend—when she watched a terrifying video made by a deranged fanatic who claims he crashed his car on the way to her home. "I'm worried my husband and I are going to die," she tells me.