Shockingly, 4chan—the cherished home of aspiring internet vigilantes and/or racist piles of garbage everywhere—isn’t quite as cunning as it might have you believe. When a whistleblower published a highly sensitive (and highly legitimate) report from an Australian spy agency to its profanity-laden forums, 4chan users didn’t waste any time in analyzing the potential goldmine at their fingertips: “Fake and gay.”
Remember planking? Remember how tired and unfunny it got in such a short amount of time? Thanks to Vice co-founder and anthropomorphized subreddit Gavin McInnes, the terrible internet trend of our past is back. And this time, it’s here to speak out against the atrocious shaming and reverse racism currently oppressing the country’s white males. Or something.
Everybody may poop, but there’s one, extra special corner of Amazon where everybody doesn’t just poop—they poop like goddamn clockwork. And they’re more than happy to share their shadooby-stained tales of nature’s call. A call they owe entirely to the laxative tea that they bought for their—uh, wives. Sure, yes. Their wives.
YouTube, in addition to being a renowned cesspool of virulently racist and misspelled comments, hosts videos. Many of these videos seek to shed light on the many secrets that the sheeple of the world would keep locked behind closed doors. And almost every single one of them is absolutely, phenomenally, mind-numbingly insane.
College flautist Azeem Ward’s senior recital is tomorrow. The UCSB student invited about 600 people to the event on Facebook and woke up yesterday to find that an additional 3,400 had confirmed their attendance. Before the event page was taken down or made private, that number had jumped to 41,000. What the hell happened?
YouTube is, for the most part, the place where everything Right and Good goes to die. But move those lifeless cat and listicle corpses aside, and you’ll find a dark, fascinating world that’s all too easy to get lost in for hours. So instead of losing part of your own life to YouTube’s depths, we’ve brought the underbelly to you.
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